Funny Joke:
An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40
years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but
he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the
old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem:

"Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in
my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and
dig up the garden for me.
I love you,
Your Father"

The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from
his son:

"Beloved Father,
Please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the
THING'.
I love you, too,
Ahmed"

At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the
Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden
apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed
they leave the house.

A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son.

"Beloved Father,
I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your
potatoes.
That's all I could do for you from here.
I love you,
Ahmed."
I just want to share this joke..it has to be in form of a question so what do you think? I think it's funny.

Funny Joke:
An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40
years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but
he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the
old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem:

"Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in
my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and
dig up the garden for me.
I love you,
Your Father"

The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from
his son:

"Beloved Father,
Please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the
THING'.
I love you, too,
Ahmed"

At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the
Rangers visit the house of the old man, take the whole garden
apart, search every inch, but can't find anything. Disappointed
they leave the house.

A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son.

"Beloved Father,
I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your
potatoes.
That's all I could do for you from here.
I love you,
Ahmed."

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop & her son saying, "All of you bastards who want off, get the hell off now, 'cause this is the last stop! And all of you bastards who are getting on, get your ass in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The horrified mother went in & told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room & stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out,you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son came out of the bedroom & resumed playing with his train. Soon the train stopped & the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for travelling with us today & hope your trip was a pleasant one."
She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the fat bitch in the kitchen."

Ol' Fred had been a religious man who was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them. As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.

The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then he died. The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realised that he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred died.

He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all."

He opened the note, and read out loud, "Hey, you're standing on my oxygen tube?"

Three old men were sitting around talking about who had the worst health problems. The 70year old said, "have i got a problem. Every morning i get up at 7 and have to pee, but i have to stand at the toilet for an hour cause my pee hardly comes out."
Heck said the 80 year old. "Every morning at 8 i have to take a dump but i have to sit for hours cause im constipated…
The 90 year old said, "U guys think u have problems!!! Every morning at 7 i pee like a racehorse and at 8 i take a dump like a pig…only problem is i get up at 11:( hahahhaa

Three guys die and end up at the gates of heaven, talking to St. Peter.
"So," Peter asks the first guy, "how many times did you cheat on your wife?"

"None. I had a perfect marriage."

"Great," says Peter. "You get to cruise around heaven in a Mercedes. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?"

"Only twice, I think," says the second guy.

"Okay. You get to cruise around heaven in a Cadillac. And you, how many times did you cheat on your wife?"

"12 times. Maybe 13," says the third guy.

"Okay," says Peter. "You get a rusty Ford."

Later that day, the guy in the Cadillac sees the guy in the Mercedes crying.

"What's wrong?"

"I just saw my wife."

"So?"

"She was riding a skateboard."

What do you think?

some excerpts from real student essays:

The inhabitants of ancient Egypt were called mummies. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere, so certain areas of the dessert are cultivated by irritation. The Egyptians built the Pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube. The Pyramids are a range of mountains between France and Spain.

The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinesses, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, once asked, “Am I my brother’s son?” God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac on Mount Montezuma. Jacob, son of Isaac, stole his brother’s birth mark. Jacob was a patriarch who brought up his twelve sons to be …

What does a dwarf get when he runs through a woman's legs?

A clit round the ear and a flap across the face!

Ok,

There were 3 guys who were roofers sitting on the roof of there latest job. they where on their lunch break and they all grabbed thier lunchboxes. The first guy takes his lunch box and says "If i open this lunch box and its leftover Spaghetti again im going to jump off this roof and kill myself! I eat spaghetti EVERY single day! And im sick of it!" So he opens his lunch and lo and behold its spaghetti, so he jumps off the roof and dies.
The second guy grabs his lunchbox and says " If i open this lunchbox and its a salad im going to jump off this roof too, I eat salad EVERY single day and im completely sick of it! so he opens his lunch and that is exactly what it is, so he jumps off the roof and dies.
The third guy grabs his lunchbox and says " If i open this lunch box and it is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich again im going to jump off this roof and kill myself! I eat peanut butter and jelly EVERY single day! and im sick of it!" so the third guy opens his lunch and
that si exactly what it was, so he jumped off the roof and died….

A few days later and the roof workers funeral the 3 wives stood together the first guys wife said " If i only knew he hated eating leftover spaghetti!! he never told me! If i knew i would have made him something different." the second guys wife said " yea, same here, if i knew my husband hated salad so much i wouldnt have made it for him." the third guys wife said " Well you cant blame me, my husband packed his own lunch!"